Hello fellow bloggers,
Today is a good day. Not much on my mind. Maybe my mind has taken a break from all the stuff going on in my life and is like, "Not Today". That is a blessing. Well, lets see. This weekend was good. I had a couple of days with my wife ( we are seperated ) and we did a lot of talking and we are going to try and work things out. YES!!! I really do miss her and I love her. The best thing that happened this weekend: Saturday when we went to the library to look some information up we were both talking and we both agreed that our marriage and our lives were going good when we were going to church, reading the Bible, and trying to walk with Christ in His path. We did come to a problem when we used to go to church she didn't like the one I wanted to go to(they were to judgemental) and I didn't like the old fashion one with the out dated hymms tht they sang. We both then decided that we would go from church to church checking a different one out every Sunday until we found one we both liked. So we're at the library looking for churches in the area and we both decided that our first one would be Church on Fire. It is a small church in an industrial area off a main road here in Phoenix. The industrial complex is like a strip mall setting and the church is in a suite there. We walked in and like usual everybody is very nice and polite. There is so much love in a non-denomination church, it's so cool. This Sunday the pastor was doing PF Chang's Marathon here in Phoenix, so he had a taped sermon that he made prior to todays service. He made the tape which ran about 45 minutes while he was in training for the marathon. At first I was like darn, I wanted to get the full effect of the churchs service and how was I supposed to do that when the pastor was not there? Let me tell you, it was probably the best church service I've been to in a very long time and my wife got saved! GOD BLESS her. She always stated that God knows my heart but she was just saying it. We both had some repenting to do and we both cried like babies, and after church when we went outside she was like, honey I feel something that is so good and powerful but I'm not sure what it is. I looked at her and I could see like she was glowing with light. I knew right from that first glance that she got saved. I asked her how she felt this and she stated that she felt like she is a new person, she feels all her troubles have gone from her. I said, "Oh baby, you got saved, that is what you are feeling, you are feeling Christ in your heart. It's alot different then just saying you know who He is, isn't it? She was like I feel re-born. I'm so happy right now that there is not a problem that can bring me down. I will writ emore later, bye for now

Hello Hello Hello,
Good morning to all my faithfull readers. lol Good morning especially to my new friend "The Lady in Red" and thanks for your support DameNrouge!! Today is going ok. I had a run in with my oldest son this morning. I tried to tell him to check himself in a rehab. today but he refuses to even admit that he has a Meth problem. Even though he is going to be homeless in 6 days and hasn't been able to keep a job. I know GOD doesn't give you more than you can handle but this is very hard to handle. I'm sooo worried that he will mess up and get into some kind of trouble and wind up in prison. He also quit taking his medication for bipolar and schizophrenia. I just want to SCREAM!!! Now I know what my mother went thru on all those sleepless nights she waited for me to come home and I never showed. I feel almost like I'm dead inside from the heart ache. He even has his younger brother (my other son)smoking that shit. Meth. Speed, Crank, wahtever they call it now will fuck up your family. Sorry for the profanity. GOD Help me please. I try not to think about the situation I'm in mentally, because it is killing me to think about where my son Mike is at in his life. Then I get down on myself saying to myself how shitty of a parent I must have been. I have always been a functioning addict. Now I know that I must have failed my kids. Their lives are messed up right now and it's like I can't even talk to them. When we talk they say I always say soemthing that pisses them off so they start to scream and swear and ususally I just walk away ashamed of what they have turned out to be. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! again sorry for the swearing. Sorry for the venting and I still don't feel better. Man I hope this day ends without any glitches from my kids or the cops after my kids. Pray for me
Rob

Well, good morning to anybody that reads this. I have to say that today I feel great physically & mentally. Probably the best I've felt in a couple of months. I got a great night sleep and I think that might be half of the battle. I usually wake up and things are foggy in my mind but not today. Even still my heart aches from being trampled but today it seems like that is a far distant to what is going on. Man, I FEEL GREAT!!!! I will write more later and I hope all that read my writings feel great today

Well, back again. I made it thru another night. The worst part of sleeping is having to wake up. When I sleep everything goes away and I actually feel happy. Happy, lets see, what can that possibly mean. I used to be happy. I haven't been happy for quite some time. When I was happy, my whole family was happy. Just think, 2 years ago today, I had both of my sons living with me, I had a beautiful wife with me, and we had a great gigantic 2 bedroom 2 bath condo we were living in. Now, I'm all alone, no kids, no wife, and sometimes it seems no life. Ok here is where the tears come into play. Tears now that is another subject. Some women think that if a man cries he's a pussy. I don't believe that, I think that if a man can show his emotions then he truly is a man. Are there any women out there that agree with that statement about a man crying? I would like to get an outside view on this.
I'm a bill collector and today I just don't feel like being on the phones. I've been doing this for almost 17 years now. Although there is kick ass money to be made, sometimes I wish I stayed in school and got some sort of education. Today is one of those days.
I just want a normal life, and what is normal these days? I watch the earth spin by and by and I'm hanging on for something real to come along. If you are real come hither please...lol

Well, this is my first blog. I will give you random thoughts in my head and let me know if you (or anybody that you know) have had the same thoughts. These are random thoughts that go thru my head on a daily basis.
Sitting at work wondering why I even got out of bed today. Mom oldest kid called me at work wanting to argue. He asked me what time I was going to be home so he could come over and talk to me. I then asked him whats going on and he went off, I think because he tweeked last night and the night before, and the night before. Plus he doesn't take his meds. You think it's easy being me??? TWEEK, what a subject. Have you ever dealt with a TWEEKER (especially went it hits your family)before? They are a different kind of nocturnal animal. So the conversation lasted about 1 minute with him saying the hell with me and hanging up. GOD knows what I'm dealing with and they say He never gives you anything you cannot handle. Well this one is sure breaking my spirit. he is breaking this!!!